Planning to Fail
by MadManMatt64
Summary: Based on the Red vs Blue video of the same name, except with Phoenix Wright characters, and some original dialogue.


Planing to Fail

One day while at the Prosecutor's Office, Miles Edgeworth was reading a few of his past cases for nostalgia value. After putting away the file he was reading, he turned to his tea set to make himself a nice cup of earl gray, when out of nowhere Larry Butz flung the door open and stomped over to Edgeworth. He started shouting, "Edgey! Nobody likes you!"

Edgeworth didn't react at first, but he did eventually, saying, "Do you mean the people I already know, or the ones I don't, because if its the former, that would be a mostly good thing."

Larry was taken aback a little but he started talking again, "Well, its everybody on Earth! You just don't fit in Edgey!"

Miles scoffed, "Oh really. Well, I think that I fit in just fine."

Larry smirked, "Well then, let me ask you this Edgey. If you fit in so well, what's your zombie plan?"

Miles raised an eyebrow, "My what?"

Larry continued, "Edgey, there are two kinds of people in this world, those who have a plan for when the Zombie Apocalypse happens, and those who don't. You know what I call the last kind of person? Dinner."

Edgeworth was looking at his "friend" with a weird look, "Larry you can't be serious. Even an idiot like you wouldn't think about this."

Larry just ignored him, "In my zombie plan, I'm going to Alaska, because zombies have no body heat. They'll freeze like corpsicles, its brilliant!"

Edgeworth just sighed, "Come on Larry, nobody normally thinks about that. I mean, who else do I know has a zombie plan?"

Larry smirked again, "You would be surprised.", he looked outside the open window, and conveniently Phoenix happened to be walking by, "Hey Nick!"

Phoenix looked up, "Larry, is that you?"

"Yep!", Larry responded, "Hey can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot!", Phoenix shouted.

Larry took another gulp of air before shouting, "What's your zombie plan?"

Miles scoffed, "Larry, you can't seriously think that Wright would actually have a so- called zom-"

He was interrupted when Phoenix shouted, "I got two weeks worth of food in my attic! When the zombies come I'm going to climb up and pull the ladder up with me!"

"What!", Miles shouted, dumbfounded by Phoenix's statement, considering that Miles thought (The key word being thought here) that Phoenix was the most sane person that he knew.

Larry had another question, "If you only have two weeks of food, then whats going to happen when its all gone!"

Phoenix shouted back, "I'm keeping that to myself! I don't want to risk you turning into a zombie and knowing what I'm going to be up to!"

Now Miles shouted down at Phoenix, "Wright, please tell me your joking!"

Phoenix ignored Miles and asked Larry, "Hey, are you still doing your Alaska thing!"

Larry smiled, "Don't you know it!"

Phoenix yelled, "Well its never going to work! All of the major freeways will be choked with stalled cars when all the people try to flee the major population centers! Its going to be nothing but a tasty flesh bottleneck!"

"Well I'm just going to have to take that risk!", Larry said determined

"Good luck to you Larry!", Phoenix cried.

"Good luck to you too Nick!", Larry yelled back.

With an incredulous stare Miles looked back and forth between his "friends" and said, "Its official; nearly everyone I know is insane."

"What are you fools yelling about?", said a voice from the door.

Miles looked at the door and to his everlasting relief, Franziska walked in. He then said, "Oh thank God. Franziska, would tell Larry right here if you have a "zombie plan"?". He knew he would get whipped for saying that, but anything to show that Larry was wrong.

Franziska raised an eyebrow, "A zombie plan? Of course not, don't be ridiculous."

Miles smiled triumphantly, "There you see? Not everyone has a-"

"I have 37 different zombie plans.", Franziska interrupted with a proud voice.

Detective Gumshoe happened to be walking by when he heard this. He whistled and said, "Wow Ms. von Karma, that's what I call preparation! I am really impressed!"

Franziska turned to Gumshoe, "Well don't be Scruffy, because 36 out of the 37 plans involve me using your freshly deceased corpse as bait to lure the zombies away from me while I make my initial escape."

Gumshoe sighed and scratched the back of his head, "Well at least I know that one plan doesn't involve you killing me."

She smirked, "In the last plan, I knowingly infect myself with the virus just so that I can devour you and all of the other fools that I know."

Miles just looked at Franziska opened mouthed. He started saying slowly, "Franziska, please tell me that your not serious."

She looked at him, "Why do you think that I have this whip on me at all times? I need to be prepared at a moments notice."

Miles started shouting now, "Tell me that your not serious about this! I mean, out of all the problems going on in the world, you all chose to believe in nonexistent creatures that will supposedly take over the Earth? Its the most ludicrous thing I've ever-"

He was interrupted by moaning coming from outside his window. Everyone looked out and saw that Maya, Pearl, and Kay were the cause, and not only that, they looked like rotting corpses.

Franziska was the first to say something, "My God. All of the assistants have become infected!"

Phoenix, who was still on the sidewalk outside, started running toward his house screaming, "If anybody needs me, I'll be in my attic!"

Larry started to run out of the room, "Hello Juno!"

Gumshoe followed Larry out the door, "Is there room for one more pal!"

Franziska shouted after Gumshoe, "Wait, Scruffy come back! I need your delicious meat for most of my plans.", she slowly turned around to Miles, "Miles, would you-"

"No.", was Miles' response.

"Just one slice of flesh.", she said.

"NO!", he shouted.

Meanwhile on the ground, Maya, Pearl, and Kay were whispering to each other while zombie walking into the Prosecutor's Office. Kay was the first to speak, "So Maya, how long do we keep this up?"

Maya whispered back, "When they all go into hiding, we go up to Mr. Edgeworth's room, take his Steel Samurai statue, and run"

Pearl was started talking like a zombie now, "Briiiiiaaaaan. I want Briiiiaaaan."

Kay sighed, "Pearly, its brains!"

Pearl covered her mouth in embarrassment, "Oops, I'm sorry, I must have read the script wrong.", she started moaning again (well to the best of her ability anyway), "Moooaaaaning! Moooaaaaning!"

They kept at this for five hours. After it became apparent that Miles wasn't leaving, they all just went to their respective homes.


End file.
